


THIS IS HOW THE ODDBALLS CAN STILL WIN.

by shellbitburst (celestialroar)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, OOC, On a school night, asbestos removal, while listening to old town road on loop, written at 2 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 14:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20676773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialroar/pseuds/shellbitburst
Summary: Natsume looked at the title at the top of his page and also the top of this AO3 listing. His plan was perfect. [ITS JOKE]





	THIS IS HOW THE ODDBALLS CAN STILL WIN.

**Author's Note:**

> val Today at 2:05 AM  
give me a topic and ill write a fic about it right now while listening to old town road on loop and ill post it
> 
> jas le coli Today at 2:06 AM  
asbestos removal
> 
> val Today at 2:07 AM  
fuck  
okay

"My long half a year of research has led me to believe that there'es asbestos in the walls of this school and it's making the student council president sicker which actually is a good thing" said Natsume tapping his red pen on his sparkly black clipboard. He only writes in red pen because it annoys other people and especially teachers that didn't think to tell their students not to write in red pen because they assume they have more sense than that. At the top of the page "THIS IS HOW THE ODDBALLS CAN STILL WIN" was written in very large letters.

"But Natsumekun how did you find this out I've gone to this school for 47 years and I've never heard of any asbestos in between the halls of this great institution of Yumenosaki which definitely wasn't built on the budget of the packing peanuts behind the shelves of Happy Elements' mail room." croaked his grandpa Rei. Natsume invited him to the secret room to discuss how the oddballs could still win which he had written down and planned on presenting to Wataru before his live against fine. It involved some (but not a lot) explosives also.

"Well, Rei-niisan. I was digging into the walls again hiding my stash of sparkly black clipboards and other glam goth stationery supplies I found on sale at staples. Also I was making more escape routes in case the student council's evil army are chasing us with pitchforks and literal torches again. We know Wataru-niisan and I are immune to fire but you're a vampire and you'll die instantly. And Kanata-niisan might dry up. Though we still don't know what would happen to Shu-niisan but my hypothesis is that he wouldn't die from it because Shu-niisan's willpower is too strong to die in such an unpleasant way."

"Hm yes. I see" Rei made some gross grandpa noises and started snoring. You know if you think hard enough asbestos kind of looks like Eichi's hair. Maybe Eichi's hair is asbestos.

"Anyways the inside of the walls smelled grosser than normal and I am pretty sure nothing is supposed to make my lungs feel like they had been grown out of a cactus." Natsume flipped through his notes. "The plan is to extract the asbestos as carefully as I can and plant them in such a way that will absolutely make the student council president sick enough to not participate in the live I think." Rei had already fallen asleep at this point so Natsume took it upon himself to get into his super suit and remove the asbestos himself.

* * *

This would have been a splendid idea however when he arrived at the scene he noticed super high school level gamer Makoto Yuuki inspecting the scene. "Hello Yuuki-kun what's up my fellow gamer" He said and flossed briefly. This startled Makoto. He had a grave look on his face and was obviously very concerned about whatever was inside of the wall. He responded with a series of fortnite dances and ended with a strong default dance. _Inside these walls resides a dangerous and long forgotten artefacte._ He was speaking in codes. This must be serious and very terribly dangerous.

"Well, Dangerous and long forgotten artefactes are kind of my thing so I am kind of glad. This may be ever better for like making sure the oddballs win somehow. I might find an alter to an ancient god to which I can sancrifice my big cheetos" Natsume was very well versed in the ancient majgyickes and he knew that gods and most demons quite enjoy a large cheetos every now and then. 

Natsume started inspecting the gaping hole in the wall closer (this time he had a mask on so he wouldn't catch a bad case of the cactus lungs again) and to is dismay the inside was actually filled with copies of E.T. for the Atari 2600.

"Oh, so that's where they went." That's one mystery solved! Makoto cowered in fear at the site of them. They were also stuck in there with a lot of orbees (and those little sticky hand things they would always give out at Chuck E. Cheese and in those terrible birthday party goodie bags) so try and figure _that_ one out! "

"It looks like when they were insulating the place they ran out of budget for asbestos and dug up the old copies of E.T. and some other useless garbage and put them in the walls instead. Considering orbees are at least 97% water it's amazing we haven't had a mold problem yet." If only he'd seen underneath the tennis courts. "I must have been having an allergic reaction to how terrible this game is. Yuuki-kun how did you survive being around such a bad game for so long when you're more of a gamer than I am?" This question has a much deeper answer to it which may be loosely related to the tennis court mold but Natsume didn't know about this and he probably would not have cared much since Makoto was clearly not dying.

"Oh I just really love playing garbage!" Makoto answered perfectly fine and no longer speaking in fortnite dance code because I don't know any other fortnite dances. Natsume left but not before comitting that to memory so that next year he and a sunshiney first year friend he may have can make an awful game in VR and make Makoto play it and suffer. Actually he was already going to do this anyways, but now Makoto probably would not refuse.

* * *

After the making Eichi sick with asbestos was a bust Natsume went to the fountain to sit with Kanata-niisan and cleanse his mind body and soul while thinking about how much he hates pre-sliced ham and capitalism.

**Author's Note:**

> I had to look up fortnite dances for this.


End file.
